Sunday, September 12, 2010

Where's the camera when you need it?

So today has to rank high up there in my most embarrassing moment stories...

I got the brilliant idea to chop my hair to one length today. I figured then as I grew out the rest of my bangs it would all grow long together. So with a pair of scissors in my hand I went to work. Then of course I had to dye it because my gray/white hair is really emerging and all this led to me being late to church. Which is why I almost always go 1 hour early, because as you're about to see I get punished when I'm late...

I could hear the voices all singing the sacrament hymn as I walk into church laden down with a bag of church things (you know: toys, coloring books, snacks, everything I need for nursery calling, golf balls and paint so the nursery kids could make worlds...etc..etc...) also a bag with a baby gift for a lady in our church, a birthday gift for someone else and a thank you for another. Needless to say, I was heavy burdened.

I thought I would just sneak into sacrament through the back, drop off the baby gift (because I knew they sit in the back) and hurry to our row in the front. Innocent enough right?

I was walking fast so I could be in my seat by the time they said the sacrament prayer. So I quickly make my way to the family who was sitting six rows up from the back and leaned over and dropped the gift in their laps.

Now you might be asking why I didn't want to wait and just do this later but it is always a race to get into the nursery room before the parents who seem to run there to hand us their kid. and by the time I'm done, everyone is gone. plus I didn't want it to seem like I was advertising that I had gotten a gift for someone and have someone feel bad if they hadn't.

I also didn't want to cause a scene during sacrament so I quickly dropped the gift in their laps and turned to hurry over to my row. This is where it all went downhill. As I turned in my big black clunky clogs, I could feel that I had stepped on something. And immediately realised that Griffy had followed me and that I was on his foot. Not wanting to put my full weight on him I did that little hop jump, you know...the one where you sort of pick your foot up as fast as you can to make sure you don't bear weight and come down on the other one? only, as I jump, it caused my bag (remember, overfull of all that stuff?) to also swing forward.

The next part happened so fast I can only say too bad we didn't have a video. I ran forward about 10 steps trying to regain my balance (and making a sort of groaning noise that I somehow couldn't stop from coming out of my mouth) but the bag got the better of me and propelled me (dare I say caused me to fly?) face first into the carpet, and then to slide a few feet. And sadly, I was still trying to grab the bag so I put no hands up to stop myself. I crashed and then slid forward. the bag went flying and things flew everywhere.

I wasn't sure even how to react. I mentally took note and knew nothing was broken but that there was no saving face on this one. And to make it worse (yes folks, it could only go downhill from this point on) a few of the older men who sit on the back rows came flying out of their seats to check on me (and not very quietly I might add). I kept telling them to just sit down and let me slink out in shame but before I knew it, one of the Bishopric hurried off the stage and came. My humiliation grew as now even the people in the front (those who had somehow not heard the loud crash or seen what had happened because they were dutifully still watching the conductor) now turned as well to see me curious as to why the Bishopric ran off. Someone must have poked Andy because then he came back pretty quick.

I was grabbing stuff as fast as I could at this point and stuffing it into my bag and reassuring everyone that I was OK and praying that I could exit before the prayer was said. And should I mention at this point I was wearing one of my tighter skirts so it wasn't easy to be crawling on the floor in?
I finally managed to get one of the men to sit down and then one of the others picked up Griffy so I could sneak out and he began to wail (because we all know Griffy doesn't do strangers) and I knew if I laughed hysterically at that moment there would be no recovering. So I did the best I could, slipped out the door and hovered in the Nursery room for 3 hours straight.

Needless to say, had I not been the person teaching in nursery I would have left.